Do you react? or respond?

"Don't react, always respond. That is a smarter way with life"- I came across this somewhere recently and felt its rather thought provoking. Reacting is what we do in the heat of the moment, mostly driven by emotion. Responding is what we should do after we have our thoughts gathered and are not clouded by the emotion.

But how exactly can one plan to do that? Counting to ten or twenty when you are angry is a way. But not sure how effective it is when the other person continues to irritate you throughout the counting. You can walk away from that place and give yourself 5 to 10 minutes. But what happens in that time?? Frankly, you take that time to think about all the bad things that person has ever done in his/her life against you or any other soul. And then what? Your anger intensifies. You might have refrained from having a stained relationship with that person by walking away and not reacting when you were angry. But it did not lessen your burden. You are still carrying it and it will be heavier than ever, because you have attached a lot of dirt to the person and are holding it with you.

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine the other day and it came to my mind that there is a work around to the above issue. Two things can be done

• Isolate the argument/scenario. Don't club it with other bad incidents you might have had with the person.
• In case you don't hold a good bond with the person, imagine that person to be someone else you really like. That makes you not look at their mistake as a huge one. And also gives you the big heart to forgive/ignore that and move on!

And btw, I just googled respond vs react to get a relevant picture to post it with the blog and there are tons and tons of quotes, messages and cartoons all over the internet on this very topic! Upon self assessment, I think I mostly just react. Let my emotions pour in and lead the way. After sleeping over it for a couple of days, I come up with 'n' number of ways I could have handled the situation in a better way. I need to work on responding and I plan to start practicing with my kids, I guess! ;)