Innocence or forgiveness?

This was an incident that happened about 17 years ago. I still remember it so well, because it has left an indelible mark on me. I was a kid then and was very fascinated by babies. They come to me quite easily and would enjoy to stay with me and play. I was so proud of myself that I have a charm to attract kids and I have a way with them. Vasu, my cousin's daughter slapped on this  very pride. She never came to me and never played with me. I remember once when I went to my grandmothers house I cried because she wasn't coming to me. Looking at my grief,  my cousin forcefully kept the baby in my hands. Vasu as a small baby began crying so badly that I had to finish my holidays without being successful at gaining her attention or love or whatever it is called..

When Vasu was 2 years old, she came to my house with her mom. I was so happy because i thought i can bribe her with all my toys and get her to come to me. Yet another disappointment..nothing worked.. She was so rigid about not coming to me and my ego did not allow me to give up. She left me no choice than being harsh to her. I locked the rest of the people in the house in a room and told her that I will allow her in only if she came to me like other kids. She did not buy that. I dont remember for how long i made her cry or how much the elders shouted at me. Finally one of my maternal cousins came home. Though Vasu was meeting him for the first time, she went running to him and he took her out to calm her down. This irritated me all the more..Why the hell does she not like me?

I sat there wondering about so many things. I dont know what my cousin told her on the way or if at all he told her anything. After they returned, she came to me by herself and offered me one of the two chocolates she got from the store outside. I did not have any words. I literally tortured her and she..she innocently came to me to share her chocolate. All this flashes in my head when i meet her even today...

Motherhood!!

My blog page normally talks about my experiences and my perception about things with some exaggeration where required to spice up the reading experience. Well, these days my life is travelling in a totally different direction from what it was. Anand, a friend asked me the other day as to why I haven't posted in a long time.. I asked him what to blog on and he said, well, you are a mother now.. Why don't u blog about it? It occurred to me as a brilliant idea and here it goes.. 

As I read on one of the pages on the net, there is no book in the world that could come close to fully explaining the enormity of a mothers job. The shift into motherhood is a complete physical, mental and above all an emotional transformation. Many of the life changes continue after the baby arrives. Career goals, financial planning, travel plans, social life, family life are a few to quote. 

Its really fun to look at babies and play with them. But its a totally different experience to raise a baby. Playing with the baby is only one aspect. Having baby as a part of your life is another! One has to fully understand the intricacy and the associated responsibility. Childhood is an important part of any person's life. It lays the foundation for ones character. It certainly is the whole responsibility of a mother to ensure that the child sufficiently enjoys this most joyful phase of its life and at the same time cultivate healthy living habits and travel in the direction of being a good human being.

It takes only a couple of minutes to yell at them and that haunts the brain for a long time. Thankfully, though they are not in a position to understand that whatever you do is for their good in a long term, they do forget your anger very soon and come running to you with a nice smile and hug you. That is when it pricks me real hard and makes me wonder whether I need to improve on my patience levels or the baby needs to improve on her obedience. And yes.. It is at this time that we need support from the rest of the family as well. Though the baby cannot, our family should definitely understand that we(mothers) are the last ones on earth who would want our kids to suffer.. if we do something to hurt them, we do it because we have to and not because we want to and  that we suffer many folds more than we hurt them!!