Kids: The other side - Part1

There was a time when I used to just love kids... Used to find them extremely cute, innocent and good at heart. Loved spending time with them and felt really happy when they look forward to spending time with me! Things slowly began to change. hey! Before you proceed further, I have to say that I am definitely not a misopedist. I am just laying facts forward so that you will be prepared. I will talk about the awesomeness in the pain in my next blog. Here I am focusing on the other side. Having said that, I can safely proceed to the rest of my thoughts. After seeing how destructive and extremely naughty kids are, I realized there is more to that cutie bubbly stuff that requires a lot of patience to handle. Its surely fun to play with them once in a while, but its a complete responsibility to raise one. And that demands a lot of qualities from you. To name a few, energy, constant running behind them, suppressing even the last part of ego that u might have and trying to be nice to them to convince them towards positive behaviour - trust me, they don't listen when u shout at them; all you can do is play a good cop and be gentle and kind to them. Like other grownups, they cannot modify their behaviour based on your mood swings. In which ever mood you otherwise are, you have to be composed with them. 'coz exactly when u are not in a good mood, they will be crankier than ever, you can just take my word for it! Especially the ones less than 5 years old bring out the best behaviour in you. They make you do most of the things for the first time in your life. For instance, you become a mom, clean someones poop, be peed upon, be puked upon sometimes, bathe such tiny baby, shop extensively for the best and comfortable baby stuff, get extremely worried at the tiniest of their discomfort, feel on top of the world when they reach any of their milestones - like crawl, stand, walk, talk etc, spend so many sleepless nights and many more all for the first time in your life. Trust me, There will be a time when all you want to do is to take a long undisturbed bath which itself feels like a tough task. And you will love the few minutes of peace time when they are asleep. They shout loudly when u are in the middle of an important conversation or a phone call and when u ask them to calm down, they shout even louder. When we take the naughty ones outside, the havoc they make will surely make few ppl say, hey! its ok, kids are like that. And I know behind every person that say this are the thoughts, "What a horrible kid! She doesn't listen to anyone. Parents should have done something to control him/her from the beginning." But do they know that it is a herculean task??? I do!!

Distance Vs Relationships

Long distance relationships as all of us agree upon, wont really work in most cases. Similarly, I had an argument with Vijay a few years back that its not the same for friendship. Long distance friendship works. If we really have good friends, we will keep in touch and will remain friends was my side of the argument. He said, you might have that bond. But, however good friend a person might be to you, unless you live in the same place and meet occasionally, that bond will be lost. You will eventually move on and get acquainted with the new place, surroundings and make new friends and begin hanging out more with them and will gradually lose your intimacy with ur old friends. I wasn't ready to accept that argument then. I thought school and college are different and the friends we make there are good and fun.. but they might not last as it is not a very mature phase of our life. However, I thought the friends we make after we set our career are going to last for a whole life. Keeping all the beautiful quotes like "Distance means so little when someone means so much", "Side by side or miles apart, real friends are always close to the heart" etc, I have finally come to accept what I failed to accept a few years back.

goodness!

We set out on a reasonably long drive to Hyderabad from Vijayawada along with our two little kids. Generally I prefer hiring a driver. But again how well can we trust him with our lives? Vijay, on the other hand prefers to drive. We decided on self driving. We were having fun.. both the kids slept off.. We had good songs on FM.. and we were both singing aloud.. road was pretty smooth.. not much traffic..We stopped at a toll plaza paying the toll and we heard heavy honking from the car behind us. I was annoyed at his impatience and stared at him. Before I began to show my anger at him, he indicated at one of the back tyres of our car. I got down and checked to see there was a puncture. What just happened? We dint know how to change it and we were on a highway. There will be highway assistance from Volkswagen guys, but not sure how long we might have to wait for it! We were told there is a puncture shop about 1 KM from there. We went slowly driving the car and wishing that somehow magically 1 KM shortens. We stopped at a small hotel on the way. Vijay asked them if it was possible for any of them to drop him off at the puncture shop so that he can bring the mechanic to the car instead of us driving there and risking a tyre burst! Lucky for us, there were not many customers in their hotel and the staff were free. The owner said they will change the tyre to stepney and we can drive wherever convenient and get the tyre fixed and changed back. I was scared if they knew how to do and if they would do it well. But to my surprise they did it very quickly and professionally. We thanked them very much and offered some money for their help. They did not expect anything in return and did not accept the money. We were planning on having breakfast a little further away from there. But, we decided to pay them back somehow and went in to have breakfast. It was decent. We drove to the mechanic shop from there! There are still good people in this world who want to help. Thanks a lot to the owner of Tulasi restaurant and the guys who helped us! The world needs such good gestures.. 

Statutory warnings - just a waste

All the movies have a warning video about smoking and drinking at the start of the movie and after the break. Why do they have it? Just because its mandatory or because they feel social obligation? Why have those scenes where the hero smokes or drinks in the first place?? Especially when they are absolutely not relevant to the story-line. Whose choice is it to have such scenes? Most of the actors put forward their own set of conditions before they sign any particular film. Why not have "I am literally not going to promote smoking, drinking alcohol etc. by not doing scenes involving things I don't promote". The rest of the crimes actors perform on the screen are crimes and hence forbidden whereas in case of smoking or drinking, since it is not an offence, statutory warnings are shown in public interest. 

There is an uproar in the directors to have the disclaimers removed. They feel the first shot of the film and the shot just after interval should capture rapport with the audiences . When the disclaimer videos take away the film from the director at those two crucial points of the story, it is actually robbing him of  his creative rights. Perfect! I agree with them partly. The disclaimers actually don't give any value addition to the society. People who smoke very well know what they are getting themselves into and those who don't, don't need to know! If you really feel the moral responsibility as a film maker, do not include any smoking scenes in the movie. If you cannot do that, atleast don't have the actors representing good characters(meant to inspire people to do good) do that. And those supporting the addition of such warnings should consider supporting ban of such products. 

They have to be curbed at the manufacturing level! Every hazardous item that is manufactured has a better use too.. For instance, detonators are dangerous. But they do save a lot of man power in drilling through the mountains etc. So, we cannot stop their manufacturing. Similarly what is the other good use of cigarettes? They are just produced to smoke off and pollute the air along with the smoker. So, why have them at all????

Resolutions!

With the dawn of the new year, I hear the word 'resolutions' too often! Some framing theirs very seriously and posting it everywhere and asking others what their resolutions are.. While the definition of this word in this context goes something like this - A firm decision to do or not to do something, I wonder what its significance is to the new year! I believe, if u want to do something, there is no better time to start it than right NOW!! Don't wait up. Ofcourse every year is a new beginning. And so is every month, every week, every day, every hour.. oh come on! every measurable second is a new one!! What happens with the resolutions that you so specifically wait for the new year and begin? You follow for a few days or weeks.. some stronger and determined people follow for a few months. And then what? You wait for another new year to make another set of resolutions.. and the years go on.. where you finally reach a point where you add, "following my resolutions strictly" as one of your resolutions! I am not pointing at anybody. I am just talking out of experience.. The best thing to do that might work better, or rather which worked better to me was.. if u realize you have to stop or start doing something, just start it at the earliest convenience and don't wait for the new year!

Protocol?

There is gathering/meeting at a place and we hear a big list of names and they talk volumes about how much money they have EACH generously given  for the event to take place. Really? Have they given the amount because they truly believe in whatever is happening and want to be part of the cause. Or for their names to be echoed all over the mikes and speakers so that they can feel good about it and consider it as ROI. Trust me, its not just a few names. The list goes on to the extent that the actual agenda will seem only a miniature compared to it.  That is not just it.. there will be banners all over the place with the names and photos of the families of the donors. If there are any invitation cards printed for the event, ahhh.. that is a nightmare for the one in charge of the content. Why is my name at the bottom? why is Mr.X's in red color and mine not? what is the size of font you are using for my name? Hey, does anyone bother to check if the event details are specified correctly without any typos and errors? Even religious gatherings are not an exception to this. We hear the names of people more number of times than we hear the name of God! I am already losing interest in such gatherings, thanks to everyone part of making it happen!

How is saree conservative?

Saree - I just can't understand how it is conservative! It exposes a women more than a salwar or a jeans does for that matter. There are people who think wearing a saree is being traditional and conservative. As a matter of fact, I personally feel, saree limits the tasks a women can do. You cannot sit on a bike at the back with one leg on each side. You cannot run around as freely as you can as compared to a salwar or a jeans.. and there are many more such things..It clearly looks bad when u have to bend or do some household work. Yet, I just don't get it as to how it is more traditional and acceptable to every occasion to all the audience and other dresses are not!