Marriage

There are many sweet pages in marriage, which cannot be explained by any gauge
None of the degrees from Cambridge, can dare to sum it as garbage
With the jokes they stage, they change it to carnage
I definitely discourage, their attempt to damage


The two souls that engage, With various feelings in the backstage
decide to become a package, and travel together on the bridge
Be it in a village, where things are in shortage
From times vintage, to the end they acknowledge
It’s a great bond that doesn’t need any leverage

Expectation!

Was talking to a few friends at the breakfast today and in the conversation one of them said, "We should not have any expectation from others. Only then we can have a happy relationship with the person". I actually kind of agree to disagree on that stand.

If there is no expectation at all between two people, is whatever the thing it is between them even called a 'relationship'? ?They will just be two people, two random people if all they do is care about nothing at all for each other. If you are talking about an ideal scenario where both are very selfless and each person cares about the other person and at the same time does not 'expect' that the other person cares about her, then we definitely are living in the fictional Atlantis world. And why even in that world would someone do that? Just because they are related to each other somehow? or should one do that to the entire mankind living in that world?? Then we would all be part of "Vasudhaiva kutumbam", a sanskrit phrase which means, "the world is one family".

For a bond to develop in any relation, we should have some basic trust and belief in the person that he/she will be there for you when you need them whether or not it requires them to go over the line for you. You don't sometimes 'expect' every person to go over the line to help you. That part of not expecting is fine with me. But as long as it is within their limits, you do expect them to stand by you. Otherwise, what is the difference between a random stranger on the road, your friend, your relative and your family? In most cases, its how much or to what extent you can count on the person that makes up the intensity of the bond you share with the person.

Do you react? or respond?

"Don't react, always respond. That is a smarter way with life"- I came across this somewhere recently and felt its rather thought provoking. Reacting is what we do in the heat of the moment, mostly driven by emotion. Responding is what we should do after we have our thoughts gathered and are not clouded by the emotion.

But how exactly can one plan to do that? Counting to ten or twenty when you are angry is a way. But not sure how effective it is when the other person continues to irritate you throughout the counting. You can walk away from that place and give yourself 5 to 10 minutes. But what happens in that time?? Frankly, you take that time to think about all the bad things that person has ever done in his/her life against you or any other soul. And then what? Your anger intensifies. You might have refrained from having a stained relationship with that person by walking away and not reacting when you were angry. But it did not lessen your burden. You are still carrying it and it will be heavier than ever, because you have attached a lot of dirt to the person and are holding it with you.

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine the other day and it came to my mind that there is a work around to the above issue. Two things can be done

• Isolate the argument/scenario. Don't club it with other bad incidents you might have had with the person.
• In case you don't hold a good bond with the person, imagine that person to be someone else you really like. That makes you not look at their mistake as a huge one. And also gives you the big heart to forgive/ignore that and move on!

And btw, I just googled respond vs react to get a relevant picture to post it with the blog and there are tons and tons of quotes, messages and cartoons all over the internet on this very topic! Upon self assessment, I think I mostly just react. Let my emotions pour in and lead the way. After sleeping over it for a couple of days, I come up with 'n' number of ways I could have handled the situation in a better way. I need to work on responding and I plan to start practicing with my kids, I guess! ;)

Nostalgia

It was around 7:30 PM yesterday when I dropped my kid off at home on the bike and was searching my phone in the bag while sitting on the bike with the side stand on. I turned back immediately as I

heard a voice - "Akka, something fell down from your purse". Still in the bliss that there are still a few 8 year olds who don't address me as "aunty", I looked down trying to figure what slipped off my purse. The second kid yelled - Advance April fool akka!!! I laughed at myself for a while recollecting all those mischiefs that we used to do as kids in the name of April fools day. That kid is somewhere still present in me. I immediately wanted to reply, Oh! Almost forgot, Enjoy YOUR day tomorrow. But then, I realized that they wont get it. So, I refrained myself from retorting.. and simply smiled. Another couple of boys were a few steps behind them. They hurried towards me and said - "your money fell down akka". I said, "hey, you can keep it". 

Thinking of it, what all we used to do? Gaawwwd!! Some used to get rubber lizards and cockroaches to scare ppl. And there was a count too.. How many people have you fooled today?? We plan the strategies ahead and sometimes group together making sure not a single person is left without being bluffed. These kids are actually celebrating it one day in advance.! Good progress.

People: Ofcourse are part of the experience!

Age is just a number! And for it to remain that way, we need to stay fit and improve our stamina. As part of that, I decided to join some strength building activity like gym/aerobics/yoga. I already tried yoga a couple of years back. Its actually slow, calm and you know, not my type. I tried gym for a month. You have your own exercise list and you just go on to do those. It actually felt boring after a few days. I gave it a break and finally joined the aerobics class.

The instructor is intolerably annoying, atleast thatz what it felt like initially. "I will learn aerobics for a month or two and then practice it on my own at home. No more classes beyond that", I told myself. I promptly tried to practice the workouts at home over the weekends, when there is no class. Ten minutes is how long I was able to focus before losing the motivation and moving on. Thats when I realized that group workouts work better than individual ones, especially when you have a nice inspiring group. Just when I think of taking a pause from the workouts, I look at my group mates and none of them would stop. They might do it a bit slowly..but they wont stop.. And breaking the silence of the tiredness comes a strong voice -"Come on, do it faster". The energy rushes in from no where and we all start doing the exercises with enthusiasm. 

Its over the next one month that I found out, the energy of the group is the instructor. Every single person praises him and talks volumes of good about him, how much ever they curse him while doing the workouts. Actually the class is really fun when I think about it. Its been almost three months and I am still excited to wear the shoes and step my foot inside the class every single day. Each day is a new experience...it could be with dumb bells, rod, heavy dancing to music, mild dancing with swift movements or just workouts with music or counting.. even better sometimes the class closes with a few steps of salsa. The love of my life says, I have two left legs when it comes to dancing. It is actually one hundred percent true. And each day I work towards cutting off some percent from that 100%. Vijay, keep watching! I am soon gonna make you proud with my moves... lol :D

Having said that, its the people that make the experience better than it might already be! Thank you all my group mates for making my aerobics experience awesome. Looking forward to more and more fun!!

A perfect evening!

Sometimes we search all over and go to places far away to have just the perfect evening of your choice. We ignore the ones which are right before us in the process. We have been to Taj gateway @ Vijayawada over the last weekend, since we din't find much time to plan a trip outstation. It has a beautiful swimming pool on the 7th floor. It was 4ft deep. Just the right depth to enjoy whether you know or don't know swimming. It being the tallest building in Vijayawada so far(there are other projects with higher levels in the construction phase now though), it has the most beautiful view of
the city from the pool. It was cloudy with a gentle cool breeze that day and there were no other guests in the pool. It was just the four of us and before we even realized that it has been 2 whole hours in there, time just flew. Many hotels don't allow food to be consumed inside the pool. But they served us hot mirchi bajji, sliced in between and stuffed with onion and coriander right at the pool. It was just a relaxed evening and we had great fun! 

Kids: The first side!

In this blog, I will talk about the best things that kids do to us. Being extremely innocent and cute, they make you wonder what if the world is just filled with nothing other than innocence? Would it make it a better place to be? After having a long day, all you need to do is look into their tiny curious eyes filled with love, their cutest little lips rendering the most beautiful wide smile as if you are everything to them. At that very moment, you forget the rest of the world. I sometimes wish, I were just there, right there and din't have to come out of that trance.

Kids look up to you and try to be like you. This makes you behave with utmost caution when they are around and obviously want to set a good example to them by living in the best way you can to being a good individual. Good meaning, good at heart. You try to teach them a lot of values. They never miss a single opportunity to point finger at you, when you don't follow something that you preach. Of course we try not to give them one! And in the process we acquire a few good traits and improve on some we already have.

The way they come running to you with an illuminating face screaming at the top of their voice out of happiness and their arms stretched out wide to hug you tight after you come home from somewhere is priceless. Its a feeling better felt than told. While watching our kids grow, we recollect a lot of stuff that we have done during our childhood. We re-live all those precious touching moments from our past - some naughty, some scary, few annoying, few others funny. We make their achievements ours and be happy for them. I am not sure whether they get stressed for their exams, but we do! They spice up our lives and make it fun. When you are in an argument with someone, the way they defend u irrespective of the fact that u discipline them a lot, boosts ur morale beyond words.

Instead of worrying much about what would happen after they grow up or how long the bond that we currently hold with them is going to last etc, we just have to enjoy the blissful moments that they currently give us. Though they make us feel blessed when they are happy, they make us crazy when they are cranky! Just embrace all the emotions that life gives us! Love you both troublesome adorable lovely darlings Sreesikha and Saanvika. You make our family complete.